you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
