He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
