whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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