You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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