Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
