dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
