She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
