if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
