Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
