standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
