An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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