There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
