It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
