Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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