after a month anything with tits is on the radar
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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