operation have a gay friend backfired
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
