all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
