new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Hippo gnu deer
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
