Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
