just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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