Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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