Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
