Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
