did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
