The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
