Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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