Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
