On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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