Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
