I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
