Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I came so hard my ears popped.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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