Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
