Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
