okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
