That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
