chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
