16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
