dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
