I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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