Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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