Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
