Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
