Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
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