Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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