I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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