Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
