This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
