I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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