we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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