she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
