I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Non-Jews are for practice
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
