can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
