Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
