Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's blow job season.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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