Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
