I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
