It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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