Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
