I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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