overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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