imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
