Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
