who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
