69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
