U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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