this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
