Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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