i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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