just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
