I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
